No, You Be a Lone Eagle
by Ogden Nash (1902-1971)
I find it very hard to be fair-minded
About people who go around being air-minded.
I just can't see any fun
In soaring up up up into the sun
When the chances are still a fresh cool orchid to a paper geranium
That you'll unsoar down down down onto your (to you) invaluable
I know the constant refrain
About how safer up in God's trafficless heaven than in an automobile
or a train
My God, have you ever taken a good look at a strut?
Then that one about how you're in Boston before you can say antidis-
So that preferring to take five hours by rail is a pernicious example of
At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing
in the South Station
And not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of
Then, despite the assurance that aeroplanes are terribly comfortable I
notice that when you are railroading or automobiling
You don't have to take a paper bag along just in case of a funny feeling.
It seems to me that no kind of depravity
Brings such speedy retribution as ignoring the law of gravity.
Therefore nobody could possibly indict me for perjury
When I swear that I wish the Wright brothers had gone in for silver
fox farming or tree surgery.
More from the man who suggested that "Candy is dandy/But liquor is quicker":
Ogden Nash's biography and bibliography
A Tribute to Ogden Nash and a selection of his poems online
Candy Is Dandy: The Best of Ogden Nash
The Life and Rhymes of Ogden Nash by David Stuart
For the Kiddies:
The Tale of Custard the Dragon by Ogden Nash
The adventures continue in Custard the Dragon and the Wicked Knight by Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash's Zoo
The Adventures of Isabel by Ogden Nash
And for your classical homeschooling types:
Ave Ogden!: Nash in Latin by Ogden Nash; you can read his "The Hippo" in Latin here
Horse Sense in American Humor: From Benjamin Franklin to Ogden Nash by Blair Walter
Check back later today at Kelly at Big A little a and Liz B at A Chair, A Fireplace and A Tea Cozy for a complete round-up of the day's offerings for Poetry Friday.