This morning at 8 a.m. it was still dark, still snowing, and only -22 Celsius, which translates to around -8 Fahrenheit. That's without any wind chill factor, by the way.
So this little item from last week's paper seems appropriate:
50°F - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
40°F - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
35°F - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
32°F - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
20°F - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.
15°F - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.
0°F - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
-10°F - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles to see if their tongue will stick.
-20°F - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.
-40°F - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent some videos.
-60°F - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides begin selling cookies door to door.
-80°F - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-100°F - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
-173°F - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-297°F - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460°F - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500°F - Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.
Here's to the Winter Solstice, only 16 days away -- onward and upward toward more light, more sun, more warmth.
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