Combining combining and pirates

We started combining the crops, wheat and barley, today. And I understand tomorrow is supposed to be Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I'm not the first person to notice that combines look rather like ships, sailing steadily and majestically through waves of grain. And while you wait on the truck, or run up the combine ladder to check how the wheat is coming in, and the warm wind blows through your hair, you do feel as if you could be on a ship or even up the mast, especially when you scan the horizon to see if you can spot your neighbors in their combine.

So for all the western Canadian pirates out there, I offer hearty harvest wishes, and the words of this little ditty, written and performed by the Canadian musical comedy group The Arrogant Worms; and also performed lustily by the Edmonton band Captain Tractor (you can't combine farming and sailing any better than with that moniker):

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine,
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line.
But times got tough, and though I tried, the money wasn't there.
The bankers came and took my land and told me, "Fair is fair"/
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no.
"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "We just let twenty go!" (Ha ha!)
The government, they promised me a measly little sum,
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum.

Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone,
I'm gonna be a pirate on the River Saskatchewan! (Arr!)

And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains,
And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.

Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge.
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser.
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the fertilizer.
Bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear, their stomach's are a-quiver
'Cause they know that Captain Tractor's hiding in the bay.
I'll jump the bridge, and knock 'em cold, and sail off with their hay.

And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains,
And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat,
He'd follow on the shoreline 'cause he didn't own a boat.
But the cutbacks were a-comin' and the Mountie lost his job,
So now he's sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob.
A swingin' sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company,
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (Screw it!).
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea,
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me! (Arr!)

And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains,
And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.

Well, the pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here,
I hear in north Alberta there's a band of buccaneers.
They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort MacKay,
And you're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way.
Well, winter is a-comin' and a chill is in the breeze,
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze.
I'll be back in springtime, but now I've got to go,
I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico.

And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains,
And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores!
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores!